The Break and FET – IVF Part 5 work in Progress

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Hi all,hope all are having a great 2018. After my last post, the few people who read my blog must have wondered where I disappeared.I was just  totally lost in my own confused world, so before writing another post I wanted a break and know what exactly is happening with our first IVF cycle. I wanted to update after talking to RE so that’s why I am posting after a long time, I feel my last post which I posted, I  just posted in a hurry.The next day on day 5 , I had written probably fresh ET, read again probably, but that did not happen.

I wanted to get ET done under sedation, I had asked my RE if it possible, she told 95 % ET she does is not done sedation, only 5 % are done under sedation, but since I requested she agreed and told me to come on day 5, she told the same advice to eat sometime before 6.00am and nothing and no water until ET.

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On Wednesday 3rd Jan I fasted from 6.00 am, went to temple, but I had strange feeling that ET might not happen and in my dreams too,I would go to the clinic and they would tell that I have come late and so no ET today, I had the same dream two to three times. That was sign I must say.I waited for the call from clinic until 10.00 am,I called the clinic since I could not wait, they told  that RE was busy and they will  give a call in sometime.

I got the dreaded call, that my 5 embryos which they had left to grow (two day 3 embryos were first frozen in my 7 embryos and 5 were left to grow) only three were growing I felt so low. RE told that they were still in morula stage and they need to wait until it grows to blastocysts by day 6, I was so dejected, but at least 3 were growing and two best day 3 were already frozen, RE told she will update after day 6 one more day of wait. I called on day 6 to know, they told that  all three were growing good,they will wait until evening and then freeze so you can call next day.

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I called next day they told that they froze the best two, so now we have two day 3 and day 6 Expanded Blasts.Since my RE had told that they don’t do fresh day 6 embryo transfer, so it was FET (Frozen embryo transfer) for me. So mentally I was preparing to wait for more than a month, I was told to stop all the tablets and the progesterone pessaries and wait until I get period and go on day two to meet the RE.I had thought RE will check and give me BCP(birth control pills) for a month and then start  FET at the end of JAN or beginning of FEB, but everything changed.

I got period on 8th Jan, 5 days after of stopping those tablets that which were given for fresh transfer. I went to meet RE on 9th Jan, second day of my period, my RE scanned me the TVS scan and she told everything looks fine no cysts, but my lining was thick 7.2 mm on day 2 she asked me if I was bleeding properly, I told that I bleed properly by day 2 noon to day 3 morning, so she told come the on day 3, the next  day to check my lining and told me some blood work E2 and Progesterone and will decide on day three, my IVF cycle as always been confusing waiting game uff. So I gave my blood and prayed that everything should work out and was unnecessarily worried about my lining.

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In the evening I got a call from the clinic that my hormone levels are fine and that I can come and meet the RE for further investigations. I was happy and could not wait until the next day. On day three went to meet the RE, I waited and waited , on that day the clinic had too many patients.Finally my name was called, she first told that my hormones are fine now we need to check the lining, so again the bloody scan, she scanned and told no bilateral cysts and my lining had reduced to 3.9 mm so it was shedding fine.

 

I went back to her table she told everything looks fine we can go ahead with FET, I was nervous and excited. She gave the prescription, the regular vitamin  D tabs, Folic acid tabs and Progynova for 7 days 2 tabs (1 in morning and 1 at night) until 12th and from 13th 4 tabs (2 in the morning and 2 at night) until I meet her for day 10 scan. She told me not to miss on the timing of the tabs, if I take the tabs at 9.00 am, then I should take the other at 9.00 pm, it should be exactly 12 hour gap.I will be meeting my RE on 17th day 10 and will know what next.This IVF is made me know that  being patient  is the only choice we have and nothing else.

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IVF – Part 4

DISCLAIMER

Happy new year to all my readers, have a great year ahead and hope all dreams come true and hold out babies soon. All the TTC ladies are in my prayers.I still can’t believe its 2018. Last Jan when I was in the middle of the infertility treatment, I was still in those beginning phase of the treatment and was so sure will conceive in one of those clomid or one of the IUI’s, but the universe had some other plans I guess. As I type this, still there is no baby in my belly. I could have been PUPO(Pregnant Until Proven) by yesterday but I asked my RE for day five transfer.

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Ok coming back to the part 4 of out IVF, on 29th  Dec 2017 on the auspicious day of Vaikunta Ekadhasi according to our Hindu calendar, my egg pick up/retrieval (ER) was done by 1.30 pm, according to my trigger shot timings of 35 to 36 hours.I was praying that I should get at least 12 to 15 eggs, but we got only 10.In the morning before ER BH had to give fresh SA, but he had to give it soon , as he had some important meeting , so there was so much confusion but finally the embryologist agreed to give it sooner and BH gave the fresh sample left, even though there was frozen back up, that morning confusions was very taxing.

After the ER , when I woke up, RE came up to me and told that they got 10 eggs, lets see how the fertilization is, we will know about it tomorrow and went away before I could ask any questions.I was very angry about myself that I got only 10, by then my friend F came to meet me,  about whom I have mentioned   here and here. My friend told why are you even feeling bad when others don’t even get a egg or more less than yours, I was like I am worried about me I din’t want to compare  myself with anyone at that point.Anyways I felt better speaking to her.

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When I was declared fine by the duty doctor to go home,RE had  prescribed some tabs until I meet her on Monday day 3, seeing those tabs , my friend F told you might have fresh transfer, I was like it cant be, but those tabs were for readying me for the fresh transfer. I was confused and shocked cause I had prepared myself mentally for FET. I have written about it here so many times.I am on vaginal progesterone and one more tab I don’t know the name the other tablet for preparing for ET, those tabs are making me feel confused, heart burn,nauseous and very tired.

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I left the clinic praying all of our  eggs to be fertilized and not to think about the ET (Embryo Tranfer). Until the next day I was so darn nervous, until I got to know about our fertiliation. The report was 9 eggs were mature and 7 had fertilized, that was a ok news o me, I was ok fine. Then prayed that they all grow fine, praying was the only choice I had, that’s what I did on the last weekend of 2017.

Monday JAN 1 st 2018, I went to the clinic, the junior doc did the scan, she told my lining is good and after ER there was some fluid  in the utreus, that fluid was also not there everything was looking good , so they wanted me to do day three transfer.I was not able to react, I asked can we do day 5 transfer, the blastocyst transfer,they were like we will check with RE and then decide.

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I met the RE she was busy with ER with other patients, she said.She told that success rate does not vary much, most of my patients have had success with day 3 transfer, decide what you want and called the embryologist. The embryologist showed me the report, all 7 were going good on day 3,only one was slight behind but that also was good grade, they told it might catch up.

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This was the first time in my life that I took decision without consulting BH / mom/ mil or anyone,and the decision was made within a minute, I just told, that mentally blastocyst  transfer would be fine for me.Now tomorrow I will know how many have made it to blasts.RE suggested that if I want day 5 transfer then freeze two day 3 embryo which are actually really good,remaining 5 we can let it grow, in case we lose all during the day 5 we have two day 3 back up, so fingers crossed that all five grow on day 5, and I can get done with ET tomorrow, my friend  F told that even her  few d grade embryo grew until day 5, mine was grade b embies so it should grow fine she told, I was nervous after taking the decision she told just go with the flow it will work out. Please pray that my embryos grow and I can have ET tomorrow.

2017 – The Roller Coaster Year

DISCLAIMER

First let me wish you a advance wishes for the new year 2018.

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I want to write about the roller coaster ride of 2017, It was no a bad year, but it was not good year either. This year was all about  hospital/clinic visits ,blood work, scans, procedures, pregnancy announcements , baby showers, naming ceremony many more, many more which are a part of this Indian society sigh. I just want to look back  and see how it was and how I have survived all the above, and read when I am low, and know that I am strong and can be an inspiration for others.

 

Let me start with JANUARY,  AF had come on 18th Dec , my gynecologist had told me to do follicle study scan from day 14 until until I ovulate, so the scan went until the first week of Jan, I did not ovulate until the cd 21, I had many follicles but they were growing very slowly, so I went to the doc, my doc told the same, that follicles are there but not growing on time cause of PCOS/PCOD .So my gynec told to do HSG test before further treatments, I waited and waited no signs of AF in Jan.My first cousin and my bro also announced there pregnancy just fifteen days apart. When I started my treatment from June 2016 my cousin sister had announced her pregnancy.

In FEBRUARY I went to meet gynec and told her that no period and its more than one and half month, she told me to check HPT and it was obviously negative, then she told me we will wait until  three months , and if I get period sooner, that I should get hsg test between cd 5 to cd 9. Finally  AF on 18th FEB, and on 24th got my HSG test done.

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In MARCH no AF again, I was just waiting AF to start so that I could start my clomid cycles.Nothing happened in March.I started this blog in March, I wanted  to vent out, I felt I was alone, I knew few friends and cousins who were /went through infertility,but no one was ready to speak about it, its ok its thrre choice ifbthey d9 not want to speak,but touch wood I have many friends where I can share and talk about infertility now.

In APRIL AF finally arrived , stared my first  clomid cycle.I hated the first cycle with 50mg clomid, I had all the side effects, like hot flashes , blur vision and much more. I ovulated on time, but it did not work.

In MAY I started the second clomid cycle but I have fever , diarrhea and nausea,from the day 2 started clomid, it was 50 mg for second cycle too. I ovulated very late on CD 21 or something and it dint work too. In May at our home they decided to start preparation for my SIL’s baby shower,I was wondering how I will face people in the baby shower, but I had to be strong.

The month of JUNE my third  clomid cycle  it stared late since I ovulated late due to health issues in May cycle. It was the baby shower month and my third clomid cycle with increased 100 mg of clomid .I was the one running around for the baby shower, I hated myself for the way I was feeling, I cant even explain. I manged by being strong during the baby shower.

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In JULY I ovulated fine in my third cycle on time, but it did not work. I met my gynecologist who told that since this is not working, she would prefer to do hysteroscopy and if wanted Laparoscopy too, and referred me to RE.

In AUGUST I met RE, showed all my reports and said that my Gynec wants second opinion if I need hystro-lap. She told its better I go for Hystrp-lap, and suggested some blood work for me and BH and SA for BH. Other than that nothing  happened in August.

In SEPTEMBER , hystro-lap was done , what a relief other than nothing happened . I was just waiting for my reports so that I could go ahead with the RE. Only thing I got to know with the lap was that both my tubes were blocked and I had no other choice than IVF.Then the longest ever six week wait.

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In October I finally got my reports and period after 45 days after the lap. Met the RE again with reports but there was so much confusion, due to some reports missing and all. RE told me to come on the second day of the period with all the remaining reports.

I was waiting for the NOVEMBER AF/period but it dint happen, I don’t know why I was not getting my period.Also there was some confusion about my reports which was cleared but not to my and RE’s satisfaction.My dad also was not well that time, it was the hardest month of my life.I waited until end of the month, to get my period but noth7ng happened, so I decided to meet RE to get some tab to get my period.

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I had spotting on DECEMBER 2nd, met RE on 4th Dec, she told my lining is thick I have two cysts on my right ovary and maybe that’s why delay in my period, but luckily it was a harmless cyst.RE also told that unless I get heavy bleeding I cant start my IVF injection so many road blocks.

Then the rest is history finally I started my IVF injections from 16th Dec,It was twelve days of injection, On 28th early morning 2 .00 am was my trigger shot,on 29th was my egg pick up. I will write about how many eggs and and how many have fertilized after meeting the RE tomorrow on January 2018 .Hope 2018 will make our dreams come true and I wish everyone hold our babies soon.HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL.Thank you all for being a part of my journey.The last post of the year.

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IVF – Part 3

DISCLAIMER

I am done with trigger shot today early morning 2.00 am, it was a nice drive to the clinic to take the injection,in the chilly December weather. Namma  Bengaluru/Bangalore looked like our 90’s Bangalore, it was traffic free and we reached half an hour early. It was 12 days of injections  until yesterday.I was seriously done with injections and wanted to finish of with the trigger injection.The trigger injections they gave me  were ovitrelle 250 on my thigh and HCG 5000 IU on the buttock. So tomorrow it will be my egg retrival.

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The main thing I want to ask here is about EmbryoScope, after my last post the next day it was my day 11 or injections and Scan.I met RE on Tuesday day 11, she checked my lining was good and my follicles/eggs had grown well according to her, compared to my last scan, but she told just one more day of injection, that would be day 12 of injection and last scan before the egg pick up.So I came the next day , she checked my follicles most of them had grown above 20 mm to 21 mm, and few were 18 and above and few were 16 mm, so maybe I had 17 to 20 follicles according to what they were talking (my RE and other Junior doc). She told me everything looks fine and that I am ready for the trigger shot. I had not taken the day 12 injection, so she told me to take the last day injections and some blood work for Estrogen and Progesterone level. They took my file and told that they will call by 4.00 pm to confirm the trigger shot.They rang me and told that my hormones are fine, and I can go ahead with the trigger shot, which I have written above.

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I was about to leave she told just sit down, I was wondering what she was going to tell now, she told me, why don’t you do EmbryoScope and she explained me what it would doing the IVF procedure,it would increase the success rate about extra 10 percent and it costs extra too.Then after finishing she said think  about it and let us know on the egg pick up day. I don’t know anyone who has done embryoScope , would love to know if anybody has done this and how did it workout for you.I googled it some say its worth it , some say it is a new toy in the fertility clinics, so I am confused.We will mostly go for it but I  would like to know from somebody who has first hand experience.Thank you in advance.Wish me luck people for the egg retrival.

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Day 8 of Injections – IVF

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On Saturday it was third scan(including my base line scan) to check my follicles, I hate those USG scans , how many times I have told this but its a fact that I hate those invasive scans, sigh!.RE did the scan and said that my lining was 7.6 mm, then there are two dominant follicles one each side, and almost fifteen or seventeen on both sides, which were above 12 mm so she was not happy I guess. RE did not say anything but I felt I like she was not ok with the development, it was my observation, and I am going mad thinking about it from Saturday, I need to relax, but I am not able to, I am ok today left it to God.

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RE told me, its ok we will just increase dosage of one injection, so injection Humog  was increased form 75 to 150, Humog I have been taking from day one of the injections, it was only 75 , now its 150 from day 8 .Hopefully that injection will help my follicles grow faster.My breasts feel very tender and I have pain too, very slight twinges near my ovaries, I am very tired , sleepy and hungry most of the time,very few time when walking fast I feel heaviness on one of the sides near the ovaries, other wise I am fine, hopefully everything is fine and I get good number and quality eggs.

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Today it will be day 10 of the injections, from day 8 more and more injections as I have said above.I have a scan tomorrow , RE told me that  will see you on Tuesday and hopefully everything will be fine and decide on egg retrieval. I am googling from Saturday, many have written that though they did not have any side effects of injections they had good number of eggs and some have succeeded also in that cycle ,I also stopped googling from yesterday, most of the time google misleads.I am trying to be calm,but I am not always calm.I just wanted to take this out of my system.If anyone has read this, I thank you for reading my blabbering. I am off to take day 10 injections, hopefully tomorrow will be the last day of the injection.

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Injections and Injections – IVF

DISCLAIMER 

Yes, its injections and injections , that’s the part of IVF, I know and everyone who has gone through IVF will know.I am not complaining just saying. Today it is CD 8/Day 7 of injections. on day 6 of injections, RE did the second TV scan after my day 2 scan to start  IVF TV Scan/USG,I hate those TV scans, during the scan she counted my follicles it was maybe 16 or 17 of them, my endometrium lining was 6.6 mm or something.

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RE wanted to add one more injection along with the two other injections which I am already taking  , so its three injections from yesterday. Before adding the third injections RE wanted to know my E2 levels , so gave blood to know about my estrogen level so took only the two injections in the morning. In the evening by 4.00 pm they rang me and said that my levels were normal and I can take the third injection, so off I went to take the third injection, this was also in thigh, so I take three injections two on the thigh and one on the buttock.

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From day one I am taking Gonal F and Humog  until day five, then from day six Cetrotide was added. From yesterday I have slight pain because of injections, but I am fine, its not hindering my day to day activities. I am trying to be calm as much as possible.I have an appointment with RE,tomorrow one more scan and hopefully will know when is the egg retrieval and any more follicles or maybe they will increase or decrease my injection dosages.I am nervous and excited but I don’t want to have too much expectations, I just want to be neutral. Thats all for now, will update tomorrow after my meeting with RE. Any tips would be great.

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IVF – Part 2

DISCLAIMER

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Yes you read it right, finally our first IVF cycle started. What a never ending drama  it was even before I could start and how stressful my life life prior to out IVF cycle. Even on Saturday I was not sure if we will start, finally it started what a relief I must say. I don’t know, I am a bit calmer after all these few days of drama, and trying not to be stressed too much.

I was/have been diagnosed pcos/pcod when I was 18 or 19 years old, so cysts were always a part of me, but from last year when I started taking treatment with my gynecologist it was fine no cysts or maybe they were unnoticeable,even during my Hystro-laparoscopy noting was there,why oh why did it come now, that too, two of them.When I called RE’s clinic last Monday to tell that I have been spotting from Saturday they told me to come, for check up, that’s when she saw those two cysts, sigh!what road block,I had even before I could start.

The spotting also stopped from Monday evening, I din’t know what was happening to my body I felt my body was failing me again and again . I was trying to be calm, but I could not I was depressed, I stopped all the communications with all my support system I have. It was one of the most lowest period of my life I must say, I knew so many people who were going through IVF, everyone were, either starting or in between the cycle or egg retrieval stage and here, I was no where near it.

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I should have started on November 16th, but it was already December , and nothing was happening, I was totally lost, I had palpitations.God I cant even thing about last week. I did everything to get my period, to flow normally in natural ways like heat producing foods, exercise , yoga and meditation to keep myself calm. On Thursday I has stomach ache and slight flow in the evening, I was like I can go and meet RE next day but the bleeding stopped at night and no bleeding until Friday noon, I was going mad, then I just decided to leave it and move on , so decided to go to the parlour  for  a nice soothing  facial and pedicure so I can feel relaxed,when I was back home by 1.30 there was slight bleeding and by evening there was  proper flow.I did not book the appointment until I was sure. On Saturday there was proper flow and  I booked  the  appointment.

On Saturday when I went to the clinic ,there I met my friend F again. Whom I have mentioned in my previous post  . She had come to the clinic to know about how many embryos will be freezed, because in our clinic they don’t do fresh transfer, only FET is done. We spoke for a long time , she made me feel better and told you will start today and even she had cyst and they stated IVF for her even when it just spotted so be calm she told.Then when I went to meet RE, she told everyone in the clinic were tracking my periods sigh.

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I told about my period when it started and all, they did the TVS scan I don’t know  why this time it was very uncomfortable.Then mt RE told that there is persistent cysts so we need to do blood work again before we could start sigh, road block again, but the cyst had reduced compared to last scan. So I gave blood for  progesterone and estradiol test. They told they will call and tell whether I should come or they will prescribe BCP for a month after they get my blood work reports.

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I was waiting again, they did not call me until 4.00 PM, I called the clinic, they told me to come soon, your hormones are fine, you can start today, I just rushed to the clinic, my GOD so much drama it was, ok I have written too much here I guess, now I am off to the clinic to take day 3 cd 4 injections.Wish me luck.( Any grammatical mistakes just ignore I was in a hurry to publish and take of my system.)

Hurdles & Hurdles

DISCLAIMER

It’s been more then few days that I have posted here, but I have  been posting in my twitter and Instagram. I am at the most lowest period now. I don’t know what is happening with and what will happen next.Last Saturday I had spotting , so I was like fine AF will come soon, but it was only spotting until Monday morning. I called the clinic on Monday morning and they told me to come in an hour.

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In the clinic RE did the TVS scan she told my lining is some 9.4 mm and I should have bleed heavily, then she was telling the junior doc that there is some big cyst on my right ovary of 25.mm or something,but she din’t tell anything about it to me.

Then she told some blood work progesterone , betahcg  and estradiol, and told that after the result we will decide what we will do. I gave my blood and came back home. The best part of my visit to the clinic was I met one of my degree friend , even she was taking treatment there.Lets call my friend  as “F”, F has already finished her stimulation’s and it was her last day of stimulation and had to take the midnight injection before egg retrieval. I am happy at least that one thing happened during that visit, so we are keeping in touch and updating and supporting each other. God has some plans, I think we just need to go with flow sometimes.

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On Monday evening I got call from clinic they told everything looks fine, but my flow should be heavy to start stimulation’s.So here I am still waiting for the heavy flow, even the spotting stopped by Monday evening. I am trying everything to start heavy flow so I can at-least start stimulation’s and finish of with egg retrieval and I can relax before FET, as I have told in my previous posts.I am very depressed and feeling very low, I have sudden palpitations because nothing has started, I am very stressed and that’s delaying my period more, and I don’t know what to do.

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Yet Another Year & IVF – Part 1

DISCLAIMER

……passes by and no baby, at-least I thought I will be carry my miracle during my birthday none of that has happened. Tomorrow is my birthday and nothing has happened, only thing that has happened after my birthday last year is two pregnancy announcements,three baby showers (two of them are my close cousins and one is my brothers wife), HSG test, three failed  clomid cycles (one cloimd cycle was admist my SIL’s baby shower, where I was the one running around), Hystro-laparoscopy.

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I was suggested IVF after hystro- lap, I waited for the reports which is a long story and the  the never ending drama, until I could proceed with IVF, after everything was sorted out I am still waiting for AF to arrive so that I could start IVF procedure. In one of my previous post I was cribbing that I might be on injections on my birthday, now that also has not happened. I don’t know why God is punishing me I am really emotionally drained , physically I don’t even want to talk.

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I am done taking Primolut N tab for three days , three times a day. I finished taking the last tab, last night now waiting for the period to start soon, so I can start IVF soon,  also 90 percent its going to be FET cycle , so waiting aging but I am ok for that. RE  told that I might get period within 7 to 9 days, but I read in net that some get withing 2 to 3 days so hopefully AF will arrive soon by Thursday or Friday and I can start IVF procedure.I am seriously tired of waiting.

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On another note my dads’s fine its almost more than two weeks after his surgery and he is fine, all his reports have come fine, which we got to know only yesterday  , that’s a big big relief or I would be worried and got stressed with my dads health during IVF procedure, so I think God knows what to do and when to do, so maybe I just need to believe in him.Hopefully my next post will be about AF arriving and starting with IVF :).

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Waiting and Waiting and Waiting….

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Ha!…. I am still waiting for AF to arrive, today its CD 46. I am ok, but I just need to vent out here and take it out of my system.I finally decided to met RE , actually I got a call from RE’s office to find about whats happening with me.I told them that there is no sign of AF, so they told its better to have a  word with RE and if I want an appointment with RE. I was  actually thinking of meeting RE,after Wednesday if AF does not arrive, so I met RE yesterday.

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The first thing she asked me did I do HPT-(home Pregnancy Test), I was like yes and it was obviously negative, she was oh wish it was positive, I dint react. I am already pissed of with no sign of AF and having blocked tubes, even though my gynecologist told that tubes can open and I have seen miracle  happen too, but at this point of time in my life I just want at-least my miracle happen via IVF. Then she did the infamous TVS scan. Then she was telling another doc that ” endo lining is 8mm and why still  she has not got the period” they din’t tell me anything.Then she prescribed some tabs for three days and three times a day after which AF will arrive in 8 to 9 days after I stop those tabs.

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I will start taking tabs from today, so hopefully AF will arrive sometime next week and I don’t have to keep cribbing here.This infertility journey has thought me how to be patient and you just don’t have any choice that’s all, you just need to be patient and strong. That’s infertility life for you.