2017 – The Roller Coaster Year

DISCLAIMER

First let me wish you a advance wishes for the new year 2018.

Happy New Year Quotes Wishes Message & SMS for Family 2018

I want to write about the roller coaster ride of 2017, It was no a bad year, but it was not good year either. This year was all about  hospital/clinic visits ,blood work, scans, procedures, pregnancy announcements , baby showers, naming ceremony many more, many more which are a part of this Indian society sigh. I just want to look back  and see how it was and how I have survived all the above, and read when I am low, and know that I am strong and can be an inspiration for others.

 

Let me start with JANUARY,  AF had come on 18th Dec , my gynecologist had told me to do follicle study scan from day 14 until until I ovulate, so the scan went until the first week of Jan, I did not ovulate until the cd 21, I had many follicles but they were growing very slowly, so I went to the doc, my doc told the same, that follicles are there but not growing on time cause of PCOS/PCOD .So my gynec told to do HSG test before further treatments, I waited and waited no signs of AF in Jan.My first cousin and my bro also announced there pregnancy just fifteen days apart. When I started my treatment from June 2016 my cousin sister had announced her pregnancy.

In FEBRUARY I went to meet gynec and told her that no period and its more than one and half month, she told me to check HPT and it was obviously negative, then she told me we will wait until  three months , and if I get period sooner, that I should get hsg test between cd 5 to cd 9. Finally  AF on 18th FEB, and on 24th got my HSG test done.

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In MARCH no AF again, I was just waiting AF to start so that I could start my clomid cycles.Nothing happened in March.I started this blog in March, I wanted  to vent out, I felt I was alone, I knew few friends and cousins who were /went through infertility,but no one was ready to speak about it, its ok its thrre choice ifbthey d9 not want to speak,but touch wood I have many friends where I can share and talk about infertility now.

In APRIL AF finally arrived , stared my first  clomid cycle.I hated the first cycle with 50mg clomid, I had all the side effects, like hot flashes , blur vision and much more. I ovulated on time, but it did not work.

In MAY I started the second clomid cycle but I have fever , diarrhea and nausea,from the day 2 started clomid, it was 50 mg for second cycle too. I ovulated very late on CD 21 or something and it dint work too. In May at our home they decided to start preparation for my SIL’s baby shower,I was wondering how I will face people in the baby shower, but I had to be strong.

The month of JUNE my third  clomid cycle  it stared late since I ovulated late due to health issues in May cycle. It was the baby shower month and my third clomid cycle with increased 100 mg of clomid .I was the one running around for the baby shower, I hated myself for the way I was feeling, I cant even explain. I manged by being strong during the baby shower.

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In JULY I ovulated fine in my third cycle on time, but it did not work. I met my gynecologist who told that since this is not working, she would prefer to do hysteroscopy and if wanted Laparoscopy too, and referred me to RE.

In AUGUST I met RE, showed all my reports and said that my Gynec wants second opinion if I need hystro-lap. She told its better I go for Hystrp-lap, and suggested some blood work for me and BH and SA for BH. Other than that nothing  happened in August.

In SEPTEMBER , hystro-lap was done , what a relief other than nothing happened . I was just waiting for my reports so that I could go ahead with the RE. Only thing I got to know with the lap was that both my tubes were blocked and I had no other choice than IVF.Then the longest ever six week wait.

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In October I finally got my reports and period after 45 days after the lap. Met the RE again with reports but there was so much confusion, due to some reports missing and all. RE told me to come on the second day of the period with all the remaining reports.

I was waiting for the NOVEMBER AF/period but it dint happen, I don’t know why I was not getting my period.Also there was some confusion about my reports which was cleared but not to my and RE’s satisfaction.My dad also was not well that time, it was the hardest month of my life.I waited until end of the month, to get my period but noth7ng happened, so I decided to meet RE to get some tab to get my period.

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I had spotting on DECEMBER 2nd, met RE on 4th Dec, she told my lining is thick I have two cysts on my right ovary and maybe that’s why delay in my period, but luckily it was a harmless cyst.RE also told that unless I get heavy bleeding I cant start my IVF injection so many road blocks.

Then the rest is history finally I started my IVF injections from 16th Dec,It was twelve days of injection, On 28th early morning 2 .00 am was my trigger shot,on 29th was my egg pick up. I will write about how many eggs and and how many have fertilized after meeting the RE tomorrow on January 2018 .Hope 2018 will make our dreams come true and I wish everyone hold our babies soon.HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL.Thank you all for being a part of my journey.The last post of the year.

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I am always thinking….

……………………about my ttc journey, my infertility journey. It is indeed  a long journey , a frustrating journey which makes us a different person in a bad way and also in a good way. As I sit here in our holiday home instead of enjoying the peace and serenity of the place, but my thoughts are always around ttc, I try not to show it to others, I enjoy many others things in life, I try to distract myself by my favorite baking sessions, cooking different cuisine, meeting people,travel, watching movies, even when I am doing all this ttc is in the back of my mind.This being a break/natural cycle its not doing any good.

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I was not like this, but when we started my treatment seriously last year July (before that you can check our journey ) I think a lot about ttc and ttc thoughts are always at the back of my mind, I cant help, I cant let go off it. When you see me in person you wont know the pain I am undergoing I am such a amazed actor which this infertility journey has thought me.

I am not ME,I am a totally different person this needs another post altogether, this infertility journey has changed me. I am sacred to hear pregnancy announcements, yeah you read it right I am scared to hear that, when I know someone is going to announce their pregnancy I just want to run away from that person/place. At this point of time I am surrounded by many pregnant women, very close people are pregnant. I try to be normal as much as possible.

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In the Indian society when your married we need to give good news(baby news) within a year or we are just wasting time or whatever. Luckily I have not faced much cause I come from a slightly broadminded family, but the society we have grown up makes us feel low, even though people don’t tell me on the face, but I know people talk behind me.I have got advice when to try , what positions are better, how long we should be on bed after intercourse, what not sigh, these advice’s were given even when we were  not trying for the baby , we were just married sigh this Indian society.

Those baby showers, naming ceremonies, weddings every where you go they ask about your baby. I am tired… half the year there were three baby showers, all of them are close so helped them , one was my own brothers wife’s baby shower, I was the one who ran around organizing it, I was mentally and physically tired and I was also on my  first clomid cycle, but that’s life isn’t it.

There is so much I want to write about how this infertility journey has changed me, sometime I question myself if I am turning into a bad person , then I realize I am not bad the situation makes a person a good or bad and it depends how the opposite person takes it or how the situation is handled.Think I have ranted too much but I feel better.

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HSG test in Bangalore

I was and I am all always scared of HSG   hysterosalpingogram test. So finally after six or seven months of natural try, taking tabs , some scans, blood work SA for BH nothing worked, so before going clomid and TI (timed intercourse). My doc suggested HSG test to be done either from day 6 to day 9, I told I am darn scared but I had to do it.

My doc suggested to consult the best radiologist  in Bangalore, but that radiologist  was not giving anesthesia , so searched all the hospitals in Bangalore finally zeroed on two hospitals, read reviews and finalized one hospital which is one of good hospital in Bangalore.

The hospital was Gunasheela Hospital, Jayanagar. Since I am not the regular patient there, there was loads of confusion. I was first giving a mock register number, then they told  me to get some unwanted blood work, even though I had almost blood work done but they wanted me to get it. So I gave the blood for test , then they told me to come next day to meet the anesthetist for checking whether I can take  anesthesia or not.Next day went to the meet the doc he cleared me for taking anesthesia.All my reports are fine so  I was asked to come on day 7 (or I told that I would want it to be done on day 7)and they  gave me some tabs to take on the test day early morning , take only coffee and biscuits and not to eat anything until the procedure,and the test will be done by 12 noon.

I went to the hospital on day seven by 10 am, paid the amount then they gave me a hospital gown to wear.Then they took me to something like operation theater  , there the anesthetist spoke very nicely , as he was speaking they had give IV by then and later the  doc injected something and I lost conscious then after 10 mins or soo they woke me up and told that the test was done, even after the test it was paining, it was like bad period cramps and was bleeding a bit, and  I was not fully conscious.

After maybe two or three hours I felt better, they told me take water, then  they told me take juice after half an hour , then again after half an hour some light food like idly. Then when I felt better they checked me told that all is good and I can go home. It was a long tiring day and HSG was over finally.

Ok my  HSG results, right tube blocked and left tube fine, so one tube is blocked.

Cost – 3000 rs for blood work, 500 rs for  meeting anesthetist  and 6000 rs for HSG test.I felt it was too much, if you are their regular patient it costs less I guess.

PS: Gunasheela Hospital  its very crowded , they dint give any written test report only x-ray report , my gynecologist had to interpret by herself and she gave the report to the in-house radiologist  and he gave interpretation by seeing by x-ray. So for all the amount I paid,  I was not satisfied. Only thing was they were doing the test by under anesthesia.

After HSG I did three clomid cycles I have written here, now my doc is suggested get laparoscopy before further treatment. I will be meeting a new RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist ) suggested by my doc/Gynecologist  then we will decide what and when. It’s a long long journey.

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TTC and life around IT….

My TTC journey you can from here.In July  19th 2016 when we decided to meet the recommended gynecologist, first thing that came to my mind was all the invasive check ups because I know these check ups and dint pursue many time in the past, but this time I had to do it. I am already in early thirties , and I just wanted my baby, so I made up my mind to be stronger . Finally when we met the doc, and she got to know about our ttc journey , she asked me and BH to get some blood work done and SA (semen analysis).

Our results were out, mine all are fine only LH was on lower side. BH’s SA counts were good , morphology was good but motility was on lower side. I was told to take cetaptin   500 mg two times a day  and folic acid one tab per day , some mineral powder for BH  and doc told me to try naturally for three months if it not worked we ll see what can be done next.

Nothing happened in three are four months, went back to doc she told me to just do follicle scan  without medication to check whether I am ovulating naturally or not and SA  for BH to know how it is now after three months, so that she can decide what can be done next. On day 13 I went scanning  had many small follicles ,then went for alternate day scans but the growth was very slow. Then I waited to get my period which was delayed and got my period exactly after 60 days that’s two months sigh.BH’s SA this time were same again little lesser compared to last time but not much difference.

Met my doc  after AF (Auntflow/period) she told to get HSG test between day 6 to day 8, one of the most dreaded test, I was scared .I told my doc that I was scared of the test, she told if I am scared then we ll have to do Laparoscopy, so she told its better to first take HSG then we can decide what can be done next. So got HSG test on day 7 , will write in detail about the test.

According to HSG result my right tube was blocked  and my left was partial spill or maybe it was fine  not sure.From next cycle I was put on clomid 50 mg from day 2 to day 6. My first  cycle failed, next cycle was also 50 mg clomid which failed again. Third cycle I was on 100 mg clomid it failed too.

In all the cycles my follicle grew nicely  up to 20 mm to 24 mm and ruptured/ovulated on my own on day 17/18, only second cycle I was very unwell and I ovulated on day 23 I think so, but I did ovulate on my own in all cycles. Its a long tiring journey.

Next what, will update soon.

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