The Bumpy Ride & A Break

DISCLAIMER

As you read the title, my IVF journey has been always been a  bumpy ride nothing has worked accordingly, there has been delays, not knowing what next, now cancellations too,I am tired of this even though its just the beginning and hopefully it will work fine in the end. So after my last post I just wanted to disappear, and seriously I just wanted a break,also I knew at the back of my mind this cycle wont work due to my lining issues and that’s what  happened.

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On the 25th our 11th anniversary I went for my scan, I just knew this wont work also on 31st there was a  lunar eclipse on which day I did not wanted to be in TWW, I wanted to go for our anniversary trip as planned in November,so many things and so my lining was the same 6.4 mm or 6.7 mm something it had shrunk back like 0.2 mm I think compare to my last scan on day 15th , so FET was cancelled but my embryos are safe uff.

My lining growth and on time growth is what my RE wants, so that my em-babies can snuggle up and be their until 9 months safe and healthy and for which I agreed too, RE told that we can waste/cancel cycles but not embryos. RE told me to stop Progynova and take Meprate for 6 days, and once I stop those I will get period within a week , I stopped the tab on Tuesday, so I am thinking I will get period on Monday or Tuesday lets see and I have to meet RE on day 2 to start the new FET cycle, hopefully February is my month.

(Disclaimer: Please do not copy, or distribute the photo’s without the author’s  content)

I went home packed for our trip. We went at the western most tip of India and enjoyed our break, this break has made me very positive, visited Dwarkanath  and two Jothirlingas Nagehwar and Somanath. The trip was mix of spiritual, visiting beaches  and  seeing the nature at the best.I came home with a positive mind ready for the  next cycle. I so badly wanted to visit these two temples before my FET and so that’s what God wanted to I guess.On another note my friend F about whom I have mentioned here and here has her transfer tomorrow and I am darn excited for her,her positive will be my hope too, ok will stop now and leave with you some pics of our trip and have a great weekend.

 

The Past Few days…..

 DISCLAIMER

…….. have been  really very tough. I am mentally , physically and emotionally tired. I am emotionally tired then anything. My dad’s surgery was fine, he is doing good, he will be home in 1 or 2 days, so that’s not a problem, I feel relieved now and I don’t have to worry about my dad, but the last few days going to the hospital waiting for the surgery to be over, the reports , the running around for tabs and all has made feel physically tired too. and also no sign of AF .

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At this point of time in my life, the time days and weeks are going very slowly. The AF has no plans of coming I guess, no don’t  tell me to check if I might be pregnant, I can’t be because my tubes are blocked  . I do believe in miracles but not now my miracle might happen with IVF.I just want my period to start and start IVF procedure. This waiting game during  IVF or any infertility treatment  is very very annoying. I don’t know, everyone is moving on life having babies , doing what they want to in their career and many more. I feel stuck I don’t know. I had some cramps and stomach ache and all but no sign of AF.

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I don’t know how to put it here in writing , I am really irritated may be because I am PMSing or the the never ending wait for AF is making me feel low. I  got a call from RE’s office to know if my period has started or whenever it starts to come on day 2 , but I don’t know. Last time when I met RE she told we will wait for my period to start naturally cause later I will have to take many tablets and injections. When she called again she told the same thing , don’t want tabs as of now for inducing periods, so I am planning to wait until Tuesday and call the clinic to ask for the tabs to be prescribed for inducing the periods so that I get my periods soon and start soon.

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I think even during my birthday I will be on injections, I don’t know , If I had my period last week or something my injections and egg retrieval would have been over by then, now I don’t know how its gonna happen. I just need to breath I guess.I don’t know if this post is making any sense and if you have read it until here whoever you are you are great,one more thing anyone who have taken period inducing tablets let me know if any side effects or whatever so that I can decide on taking that or  just wait which is never ending , thank you.

Meeting a new RE

So tomorrow I will be meeting a new RE referred by my Gynecologist/doc. My doc wants me to take a second opinion on whether to get laparoscopy (lap) to be done or try something else before getting lap done. Then I have to meet my doc and tell what  the new RE has told me, so there is nothing much here but I am scared and worried what the RE might tell seeing my report, also no tabs this cycle its natural cycle so I don’t know what I am doing wasting a cycle , I feel, what’s the use of me feeling anything I don’t know what plans God has for me, I know I am thinking too much , worrying too much but I don’t know hat to do.

Everything is getting postponed, first my doc is not in town until 23rd, then the new RE postponed her appointment to tomorrow , natural cycle this month and I have irregular periods sometimes, so I think that my period might come late with all the stress, I don’t know what to do. I am trying to stay calm but its not happening, will update here after meeting RE.

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TTC and life around IT….

My TTC journey you can from here.In July  19th 2016 when we decided to meet the recommended gynecologist, first thing that came to my mind was all the invasive check ups because I know these check ups and dint pursue many time in the past, but this time I had to do it. I am already in early thirties , and I just wanted my baby, so I made up my mind to be stronger . Finally when we met the doc, and she got to know about our ttc journey , she asked me and BH to get some blood work done and SA (semen analysis).

Our results were out, mine all are fine only LH was on lower side. BH’s SA counts were good , morphology was good but motility was on lower side. I was told to take cetaptin   500 mg two times a day  and folic acid one tab per day , some mineral powder for BH  and doc told me to try naturally for three months if it not worked we ll see what can be done next.

Nothing happened in three are four months, went back to doc she told me to just do follicle scan  without medication to check whether I am ovulating naturally or not and SA  for BH to know how it is now after three months, so that she can decide what can be done next. On day 13 I went scanning  had many small follicles ,then went for alternate day scans but the growth was very slow. Then I waited to get my period which was delayed and got my period exactly after 60 days that’s two months sigh.BH’s SA this time were same again little lesser compared to last time but not much difference.

Met my doc  after AF (Auntflow/period) she told to get HSG test between day 6 to day 8, one of the most dreaded test, I was scared .I told my doc that I was scared of the test, she told if I am scared then we ll have to do Laparoscopy, so she told its better to first take HSG then we can decide what can be done next. So got HSG test on day 7 , will write in detail about the test.

According to HSG result my right tube was blocked  and my left was partial spill or maybe it was fine  not sure.From next cycle I was put on clomid 50 mg from day 2 to day 6. My first  cycle failed, next cycle was also 50 mg clomid which failed again. Third cycle I was on 100 mg clomid it failed too.

In all the cycles my follicle grew nicely  up to 20 mm to 24 mm and ruptured/ovulated on my own on day 17/18, only second cycle I was very unwell and I ovulated on day 23 I think so, but I did ovulate on my own in all cycles. Its a long tiring journey.

Next what, will update soon.

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