R for Research #A to Z Challenge

DISCLAIMER

One advise I would like to give for infertility warriors is that research before you proceed. Researching about the medicines is easy, but don’t go too much into it, for your body which medicine will suit or work your RE or Doctor will know better, don’t go too much into medicines read just what you need and leave it don’t brood about it,there will be times when you would want to know whats happening with your body, how will that tablet or injection or procedure work for you, if you have doubts and questions regarding the medicines ask your doctor and go with the flow.

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I would say research more about how to manage or handle yourself and your partner emotionally and mentally. The infertility treatments are very draining physically , emotionally and financially as I have said in my earlier posts.

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Infertility treatments puts loads of stress mentally because you don’t know what’s happening with you most of the time. The the failures , cancellation of the cycles , miscarriages, even if your successful with the treatments you will be worried until you  have your baby in your hand, and then the pregnancy announcements, baby shower’s and much more, this all is very disturbing it’s very difficult to handle all these at once. Try to speak about your journey with who ever you feel comfortable with and who will understand you journey.There are loads of support groups online.If you like writing write a blog,do write it helps when you jot down your feelings and you will definitely feel better. So research more how you will handle emotionally, because many people wont talk about infertility openly. This is infertility life.


 

PS:I am not a doctor, these are just my findings, my experiences and my infertility warrior friends experiences,which are a part of my life. I am half doctor myself because we go though so much,sometimes I feel I know my diagnosis better than my RE(Reproductive Endocrinologist). Hope these posts make some sense for people who are not a part of this journey.This post is a part of #AtoZchallenge2018.

Yet Another Year & IVF – Part 1

DISCLAIMER

……passes by and no baby, at-least I thought I will be carry my miracle during my birthday none of that has happened. Tomorrow is my birthday and nothing has happened, only thing that has happened after my birthday last year is two pregnancy announcements,three baby showers (two of them are my close cousins and one is my brothers wife), HSG test, three failed  clomid cycles (one cloimd cycle was admist my SIL’s baby shower, where I was the one running around), Hystro-laparoscopy.

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I was suggested IVF after hystro- lap, I waited for the reports which is a long story and the  the never ending drama, until I could proceed with IVF, after everything was sorted out I am still waiting for AF to arrive so that I could start IVF procedure. In one of my previous post I was cribbing that I might be on injections on my birthday, now that also has not happened. I don’t know why God is punishing me I am really emotionally drained , physically I don’t even want to talk.

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I am done taking Primolut N tab for three days , three times a day. I finished taking the last tab, last night now waiting for the period to start soon, so I can start IVF soon,  also 90 percent its going to be FET cycle , so waiting aging but I am ok for that. RE  told that I might get period within 7 to 9 days, but I read in net that some get withing 2 to 3 days so hopefully AF will arrive soon by Thursday or Friday and I can start IVF procedure.I am seriously tired of waiting.

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On another note my dads’s fine its almost more than two weeks after his surgery and he is fine, all his reports have come fine, which we got to know only yesterday  , that’s a big big relief or I would be worried and got stressed with my dads health during IVF procedure, so I think God knows what to do and when to do, so maybe I just need to believe in him.Hopefully my next post will be about AF arriving and starting with IVF :).

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I am always thinking….

……………………about my ttc journey, my infertility journey. It is indeed  a long journey , a frustrating journey which makes us a different person in a bad way and also in a good way. As I sit here in our holiday home instead of enjoying the peace and serenity of the place, but my thoughts are always around ttc, I try not to show it to others, I enjoy many others things in life, I try to distract myself by my favorite baking sessions, cooking different cuisine, meeting people,travel, watching movies, even when I am doing all this ttc is in the back of my mind.This being a break/natural cycle its not doing any good.

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I was not like this, but when we started my treatment seriously last year July (before that you can check our journey ) I think a lot about ttc and ttc thoughts are always at the back of my mind, I cant help, I cant let go off it. When you see me in person you wont know the pain I am undergoing I am such a amazed actor which this infertility journey has thought me.

I am not ME,I am a totally different person this needs another post altogether, this infertility journey has changed me. I am sacred to hear pregnancy announcements, yeah you read it right I am scared to hear that, when I know someone is going to announce their pregnancy I just want to run away from that person/place. At this point of time I am surrounded by many pregnant women, very close people are pregnant. I try to be normal as much as possible.

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In the Indian society when your married we need to give good news(baby news) within a year or we are just wasting time or whatever. Luckily I have not faced much cause I come from a slightly broadminded family, but the society we have grown up makes us feel low, even though people don’t tell me on the face, but I know people talk behind me.I have got advice when to try , what positions are better, how long we should be on bed after intercourse, what not sigh, these advice’s were given even when we were  not trying for the baby , we were just married sigh this Indian society.

Those baby showers, naming ceremonies, weddings every where you go they ask about your baby. I am tired… half the year there were three baby showers, all of them are close so helped them , one was my own brothers wife’s baby shower, I was the one who ran around organizing it, I was mentally and physically tired and I was also on my  first clomid cycle, but that’s life isn’t it.

There is so much I want to write about how this infertility journey has changed me, sometime I question myself if I am turning into a bad person , then I realize I am not bad the situation makes a person a good or bad and it depends how the opposite person takes it or how the situation is handled.Think I have ranted too much but I feel better.

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