ERA Result & Updates

DISCLAIMER

I feel just lost, their is so much to do but I am not able to, I feel like life is just a drag, because of the cycle cancellations and all, and as I mentioned in my last post RE was out of town or something, also my ERA report was delayed, so my last cycle was cancelled.I am ok now, do I have any choice other then being ok.

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Once again started my HRT cycle from 29th May, do I have hope? I do not know, at least not now, I am just living like a zombie. Last night I had a dream where my RE is checking my lining and it was only 1.8 mm😣😥 I just woke up in the middle of the night, I am thinking too much I think, tomorrow is my 8th day of HRT cycle, you can read about how HRT cycle works here. I will be going for my lining check tomorrow hoping my lining would have grown ok if not great

I am doing everything in my capacity to make this cycle work, I am eating home cooked food ,walking, pranyama, meditation and planning to add yoga too . I love my black coffee I am slowly reducing taking coffee, and will stop complete after my progesterone is started.I am praying , in the end that’s all I can do,  I am doing everything in my capacity and leavening rest to God.

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My ERA test result, the good news is my lining is receptive but, but I need extra 12 hours of progesterone, so that’s a relief and in this cycle if my lining ok they know the receptive window so RE will work around it I think. My RE had told me that whenever my transfer happens she will just transfer according to my ERA timeline. I am having loads of hopes this cycle, hopefully my body wont let me down this time, until then I just have to hold on to hope just hope.

2017 – The Roller Coaster Year

DISCLAIMER

First let me wish you a advance wishes for the new year 2018.

Happy New Year Quotes Wishes Message & SMS for Family 2018

I want to write about the roller coaster ride of 2017, It was no a bad year, but it was not good year either. This year was all about  hospital/clinic visits ,blood work, scans, procedures, pregnancy announcements , baby showers, naming ceremony many more, many more which are a part of this Indian society sigh. I just want to look back  and see how it was and how I have survived all the above, and read when I am low, and know that I am strong and can be an inspiration for others.

 

Let me start with JANUARY,  AF had come on 18th Dec , my gynecologist had told me to do follicle study scan from day 14 until until I ovulate, so the scan went until the first week of Jan, I did not ovulate until the cd 21, I had many follicles but they were growing very slowly, so I went to the doc, my doc told the same, that follicles are there but not growing on time cause of PCOS/PCOD .So my gynec told to do HSG test before further treatments, I waited and waited no signs of AF in Jan.My first cousin and my bro also announced there pregnancy just fifteen days apart. When I started my treatment from June 2016 my cousin sister had announced her pregnancy.

In FEBRUARY I went to meet gynec and told her that no period and its more than one and half month, she told me to check HPT and it was obviously negative, then she told me we will wait until  three months , and if I get period sooner, that I should get hsg test between cd 5 to cd 9. Finally  AF on 18th FEB, and on 24th got my HSG test done.

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In MARCH no AF again, I was just waiting AF to start so that I could start my clomid cycles.Nothing happened in March.I started this blog in March, I wanted  to vent out, I felt I was alone, I knew few friends and cousins who were /went through infertility,but no one was ready to speak about it, its ok its thrre choice ifbthey d9 not want to speak,but touch wood I have many friends where I can share and talk about infertility now.

In APRIL AF finally arrived , stared my first  clomid cycle.I hated the first cycle with 50mg clomid, I had all the side effects, like hot flashes , blur vision and much more. I ovulated on time, but it did not work.

In MAY I started the second clomid cycle but I have fever , diarrhea and nausea,from the day 2 started clomid, it was 50 mg for second cycle too. I ovulated very late on CD 21 or something and it dint work too. In May at our home they decided to start preparation for my SIL’s baby shower,I was wondering how I will face people in the baby shower, but I had to be strong.

The month of JUNE my third  clomid cycle  it stared late since I ovulated late due to health issues in May cycle. It was the baby shower month and my third clomid cycle with increased 100 mg of clomid .I was the one running around for the baby shower, I hated myself for the way I was feeling, I cant even explain. I manged by being strong during the baby shower.

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In JULY I ovulated fine in my third cycle on time, but it did not work. I met my gynecologist who told that since this is not working, she would prefer to do hysteroscopy and if wanted Laparoscopy too, and referred me to RE.

In AUGUST I met RE, showed all my reports and said that my Gynec wants second opinion if I need hystro-lap. She told its better I go for Hystrp-lap, and suggested some blood work for me and BH and SA for BH. Other than that nothing  happened in August.

In SEPTEMBER , hystro-lap was done , what a relief other than nothing happened . I was just waiting for my reports so that I could go ahead with the RE. Only thing I got to know with the lap was that both my tubes were blocked and I had no other choice than IVF.Then the longest ever six week wait.

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In October I finally got my reports and period after 45 days after the lap. Met the RE again with reports but there was so much confusion, due to some reports missing and all. RE told me to come on the second day of the period with all the remaining reports.

I was waiting for the NOVEMBER AF/period but it dint happen, I don’t know why I was not getting my period.Also there was some confusion about my reports which was cleared but not to my and RE’s satisfaction.My dad also was not well that time, it was the hardest month of my life.I waited until end of the month, to get my period but noth7ng happened, so I decided to meet RE to get some tab to get my period.

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I had spotting on DECEMBER 2nd, met RE on 4th Dec, she told my lining is thick I have two cysts on my right ovary and maybe that’s why delay in my period, but luckily it was a harmless cyst.RE also told that unless I get heavy bleeding I cant start my IVF injection so many road blocks.

Then the rest is history finally I started my IVF injections from 16th Dec,It was twelve days of injection, On 28th early morning 2 .00 am was my trigger shot,on 29th was my egg pick up. I will write about how many eggs and and how many have fertilized after meeting the RE tomorrow on January 2018 .Hope 2018 will make our dreams come true and I wish everyone hold our babies soon.HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL.Thank you all for being a part of my journey.The last post of the year.

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Finally A Breather

DISCLAIMER

Yes I got my reports finally. I was so tensed until I spoke to the doctor, the wait to meet the doctor was never ending .  It was such a relief  to talk to  the doctor, she told that all my reports  have come normal and I can now meet the RE with these reports. I asked her again that all is fine or what, she told yeah as of now all the reports are fine, but I din’t understand what she meant by ” as of now all is fine”, anyways I don’t want to dwell too much on it ,it is fine that’s it.

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The smear test, tissue , culture whatever all is fine is what I need to start IVF. I am sacred and excited at the same time,the roller coaster of emotions of IVF even before I have started the process. I need to be strong mentally first thing than anything, God give me strength that’s all I ask.On another note, I will be going to a naming ceremony tomorrow. It is of my first cousins first baby, so I need to go or it wont be nice, so I need to be more stronger than the IVF procedure . I will be meeting RE on Monday and know the details about IVF.

PS: (before reading the next part I want to tell you these are my opinions and experience, please don’t try to judge me and no negative comments please)

Today my bro wanted to ask something related to him to a very new astrologer, I had gone with him to meet the astrologer. My bro, mom and mil told me to ask, will the IVF be successful for me,I was in two minds whether to ask or not. I do believe in astrology but only to an extent, I believe more in the almighty then any predictions.

 

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The astrologer told that  I will not have kids , then he told IVF  will not be successful  now but it will be successful in 2020. I just listened no reaction at all, because I know my God better than anyone, I was very unfazed with whatever he said, also my mom and mil have asked some experienced astrologers where they have never ever told I will not have kids they have told that it will be late that’s all, whatever I am going ahead with IVF. I will do IVF and the results  I have left to my GOD, I know its easier said than done but that’s all I can do.

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What next ?

What next is the biggest question I have at this point of time in my life,even though I know  that my doctors  have told IVF is the only option I have right now. I am also preparing for IVF  mentally, Physically and financially, but this waiting game is frustrating.I wonder how people cope with this waiting game, especially when you want something the most but its delayed due to so many factors which are known and unknown to us, so it  makes the waiting more worse than anything in life.

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I met my gynecologist yesterday after a week to remove my stitches, I had to go on Saturday but could not go due to some other reasons.Removal of stitches was ok near the abdomen but near my navel it was a bit painful only for few minutes, it was done by some junior doctor. later my gynec came to meet me where I was lying down after removal of the stitch. As I had told in my last post that both my RE and gynec had discussed that if my right tube is blocked according to my Feb HSG  report and if my right tube was causing any problem for conceiving than to remove the right tube.

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My gynec decided not remove my right tube since both my tubes are fine, only its blocked that’s it, so she decided to tell my RE its not necessary to remove the tube and it wont have any bad effect during IVF.

My meeting with gynec went well, she told  me that my tubes are fine and it can open in future and she spoke to my RE when I was on operation table that its not necessary to remove the tube so I am a bit relived, so my tubes are fine and in my uterus, also I have heard that tubes  usually closes and opens depending on our diet or our Karma or our luck. One of my cousin conceive after eight years on her fourth IVF and conceived naturally next one within two years, her tubes had opened and it was miracle baby two for her.

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OK now if you read until now and wondering why I have that question on what next ?when I know it is IVF, but they have sent my some blood sample,endo lining and smear and what not I  don’t know for testing some

AFB  BACTEA Culture

AFB Smear

AFB Culture 

AFB Culture (Identification)

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Then something specimen source  and smear is sent by tissue and that result is Acid fast Bacilli NOT SEEN its written in the report so that’s fine I think.I know I should be stress free and talk to  about these to my doc but I cant wait. I think here in India they do this test to check to find out genital TB because it will be difficult to conceive or  during IVF embryo wont implant due to TB (this I read in some trying to conceive forum, written  by somebody who  had done these tests during there treatment for infertility)so if its positive they give treatment for three or six months and then when its cured they find out by endo biopsy and start IUI or IVF whatever next. So I will be meeting my gynec to get my report on AFB culture and then will meet my RE to start IVF maybe form October or November. So please pray for me all is fine and I can start with IVF soon.

 

 

Done with Hysteroscopy and Laparoscopy

I am sitting here with slightissh pain after the Hysteroscopy with Laparoscopy (hystero-lap).I am tired  and have slight pain in my tummy and shoulders.I was so scared last week until this was done, now I am relieved that its done and I am here sitting and typing about my experience.

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I went at 6 in the morning and came back at 9. pm.I was feeling ok by evening, but due to billing formalities it took long time. and by the time I was home it was darn late.I just wanted to be in bed.

They did  HSG again, hysteroscopy and laparoscopy. They basically did HSG again to check if my right tube is really blocked as I said in my previous post, they wanted to to either unblock or clip my right tube if it was creating problem for me to conceive.I still can’t understand, why last time they told that only right tube was blocked and left was fine , but now they are telling both are blocked, why dint they find out last time only, I would not have wasted my time, money and energy from last seven months.My karma I guess I have to go thought all this.

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I need to meet my gynecologist on Saturday to remove the stitches, they have made small cuts near the  navel and in my lower abdomen, that’s little painful and I get like a lighting feel kind of pain near my abdomen and on the sides of abdomen, has anybody felt like that who have undergone hysteroscopy and laparoscopy, please let me know.

I think they have sent my endometrium lining and others (whatever it is which I don’t know) for biopsy and tests, I don’t know when I will be getting results for those, so when I go to meet my doc on Saturday I know about those, hopefully everything is fine and I can go head for the next steps.IMG-20170827-WA0013

 

The most shocking result was when my doc came to meet me after I gained conscious, she told that both my tubes are blocked and IVF is the solution. My doc spoke to my mom who accompanied me and told her that she tried it very hard to unblock the tubes,but she could not do that, so it is IVF for me, I still need to digest the fact. I thought at least we will do two IUI’s but God has other plans for me I guess.Hopefully my other reports will be fine and they will be fine I guess or my doc would have told then itself if there were other problems, I am trying to be optimistic and be mentally ready to start IVF process.

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