IVF – Part 4

DISCLAIMER

Happy new year to all my readers, have a great year ahead and hope all dreams come true and hold out babies soon. All the TTC ladies are in my prayers.I still can’t believe its 2018. Last Jan when I was in the middle of the infertility treatment, I was still in those beginning phase of the treatment and was so sure will conceive in one of those clomid or one of the IUI’s, but the universe had some other plans I guess. As I type this, still there is no baby in my belly. I could have been PUPO(Pregnant Until Proven) by yesterday but I asked my RE for day five transfer.

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Ok coming back to the part 4 of out IVF, on 29th  Dec 2017 on the auspicious day of Vaikunta Ekadhasi according to our Hindu calendar, my egg pick up/retrieval (ER) was done by 1.30 pm, according to my trigger shot timings of 35 to 36 hours.I was praying that I should get at least 12 to 15 eggs, but we got only 10.In the morning before ER BH had to give fresh SA, but he had to give it soon , as he had some important meeting , so there was so much confusion but finally the embryologist agreed to give it sooner and BH gave the fresh sample left, even though there was frozen back up, that morning confusions was very taxing.

After the ER , when I woke up, RE came up to me and told that they got 10 eggs, lets see how the fertilization is, we will know about it tomorrow and went away before I could ask any questions.I was very angry about myself that I got only 10, by then my friend F came to meet me,  about whom I have mentioned   here and here. My friend told why are you even feeling bad when others don’t even get a egg or more less than yours, I was like I am worried about me I din’t want to compare  myself with anyone at that point.Anyways I felt better speaking to her.

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When I was declared fine by the duty doctor to go home,RE had  prescribed some tabs until I meet her on Monday day 3, seeing those tabs , my friend F told you might have fresh transfer, I was like it cant be, but those tabs were for readying me for the fresh transfer. I was confused and shocked cause I had prepared myself mentally for FET. I have written about it here so many times.I am on vaginal progesterone and one more tab I don’t know the name the other tablet for preparing for ET, those tabs are making me feel confused, heart burn,nauseous and very tired.

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I left the clinic praying all of our  eggs to be fertilized and not to think about the ET (Embryo Tranfer). Until the next day I was so darn nervous, until I got to know about our fertiliation. The report was 9 eggs were mature and 7 had fertilized, that was a ok news o me, I was ok fine. Then prayed that they all grow fine, praying was the only choice I had, that’s what I did on the last weekend of 2017.

Monday JAN 1 st 2018, I went to the clinic, the junior doc did the scan, she told my lining is good and after ER there was some fluid  in the utreus, that fluid was also not there everything was looking good , so they wanted me to do day three transfer.I was not able to react, I asked can we do day 5 transfer, the blastocyst transfer,they were like we will check with RE and then decide.

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I met the RE she was busy with ER with other patients, she said.She told that success rate does not vary much, most of my patients have had success with day 3 transfer, decide what you want and called the embryologist. The embryologist showed me the report, all 7 were going good on day 3,only one was slight behind but that also was good grade, they told it might catch up.

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This was the first time in my life that I took decision without consulting BH / mom/ mil or anyone,and the decision was made within a minute, I just told, that mentally blastocyst  transfer would be fine for me.Now tomorrow I will know how many have made it to blasts.RE suggested that if I want day 5 transfer then freeze two day 3 embryo which are actually really good,remaining 5 we can let it grow, in case we lose all during the day 5 we have two day 3 back up, so fingers crossed that all five grow on day 5, and I can get done with ET tomorrow, my friend  F told that even her  few d grade embryo grew until day 5, mine was grade b embies so it should grow fine she told, I was nervous after taking the decision she told just go with the flow it will work out. Please pray that my embryos grow and I can have ET tomorrow.

A Pause again…..

DISCLAIMER 

This is just a quick update.Just a pause or standstill at this point of my life , before I start ranting I want to wish everyone happy and prosperous Deepawali/Diwali. In India Diwali is one of the biggest festival  with loads of celebration, meeting family , food and everything good in life, so hopefully I will not think of TTC for few days .

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As I had written in my last post  , I did not get my report nor could I meet gynecologist. I was about to leave to the clinic from home, I got a call from the clinic and they told that the report would come only by evening and  another person was waiting for the same type of report too, whatever I don’t want to know who else is waiting for that type of report . The receptionist told that I could meet the gynecologist on Thursday with the reports , she told she will check and let me know at what time I can come on Thursday, even though its festival here ,Its  also the main Lakshmi pooja here, but I told I will come, and let me know when the doctor is free. They call after few minutes and tell that she is not available , and the doc is coming only for an hour since its festival and all the appointments are booked sigh. This waiting game is never ending.

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I cant take this waiting game anymore, but I have to wait, so she told, she will  take my report show it to doctor on Thursday, and she will tell me what the doctor told and if the doctor wants to meet me , then I can come on Monday noon and the appointment was fixed for Monday. Now it not end here, due to some travel plans this weekend I postponed the appointment to Tuesday noon.So I need to wait until next week.I want to be calm and enjoy this three day festival, let my TTC be for three days.Happy Diwali to all again.

The long Weekend & the most wanted Break…..

Disclaimer :: please read the DISCLAIMER before reading my blog posts.

This six week wait is very annoying and I just wanted a break from the routine and as always  I write about my infertility journey in this blog. I sometimes think  or I am actually obsessed about my infertility journey, and those emotional rants because of this infertility journey which I keep posting here, but I can’t help I want my baby that’s all, that’s the one thing In my mind always, not matter what, my baby is always at the back of my mind, so jotting down my thoughts here makes me feel better.

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It was a long weekend here, because of Dusshera festival and October 2nd Gandhi Jayanthi holidays here In India. So we decided to go to our holiday home, which is three hours drive from our place. Usually only me and BH go there, this time my in-laws decided to come with us, I was ok and I was not ok. Our holiday home is where the famous Dusshera happens, so the place was all lit up, so much festivity around, it’s the place you have to be when you want to know and feel the rich culture of India.

Since in-laws were with us, we mostly did loads of temple trips. It was tiring and blissful at the same time I must say, I and MIL (mother-in-law) are very close, like best friends and sometime she is a typical MIL, sigh. One thing I want to write about this trip was, we had gone to a Venugopala Temple, it’s just half an hour drive from our home, but this time we went there after going to many temples from morning.

At the Venagopala Temple, I felt very nice and calm, I was at peace.The temple has large prahara (compound), like inside near the grabha griha, outside the temple and again third compound, it’s a big temple; usually South Indian temples are big and majestic. It was peaceful loads of water all around because its near KRS dam .

When we came out of the temple, fully outside of the temple, me and BH walked  around the temple, just walk a blissful walk  no speaking nothing at all, just peace no talking about TTC infertility journey or anything in this world, our silence spoke that’s all I know, one of those beautiful blissful moments of my life. I just wanted to write it here that’s why this post here, and read when I am low.These sentence can’t explain those few moments.

Then when  we were back home, I and BH  were talking about, how nice and relaxing time it was. Then I told him, how I  wish we had  our  little one round we would have gone behind her/him so that she/he does not get hurt, or go behind someone, or just to keep an eye on her/him, sigh infertility journey never gets out of our system I guess. Anyways I will leave you with the pictures; the pictures will speak more about Temple  and the Dusshera.

PS: these picture were clicked by Me and BH.

PS: Some of the pics were sent by friends and one from google.

THE SIX WEEK WAIT

Disclaimer :: please read the DISCLAIMER before reading my blog posts.

Yeah you read it right, it’s a six week wait for that AFP culture test result. I wanted to update immediately after my meeting with the gynecologist this Monday, but life has many twists right also Its navrathri  from yesterday and Dusshera  here so was a bit  busy and  also the result I wanted is yet to come. There was and still so much confusion  and drama by the receptionists, there are so many receptionists there sigh. What I wanted din’t happen that day at all.Now I need to wait until 17th October hopefully I will get my final reports on that day at-least.

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I don’t know whether I was wrong or the hospital staff confused me or maybe the nurse who told me to come on 17th was confused and she confused me too, so much confusion here right.On Monday when I went to the hospital first I went to take my report they told it will be given to me in few minutes, but it dint happen and  I had to meet my doc on the appointed time, so the receptionist told me its better I go and  pay the consultation fee and wait since my appointment time was getting over and she will send my report directly to the doc, so I went paid and sat there waiting for my turn and reports.

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Then I heard my name being called and thought my reports have come, so I went and was told that the report will  come in the evening. I was pissed off, I was so much waiting  for that darn report and here again I need to wait. I tried to be calm and thought ok I will come on Wednesday and meet the doc and spoke to the receptionist,I  told her if they had told me when the report exactly will come I would come at time and and I would not  have wasted my time. money and energy  here doing nothing, the feeling I cannot explain when they told my reports are yet to come.

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I was angry so they directly called the lab technician and he spoke to me which I did not understand, so he told he will come and speak directly to me. The lab technician told my reports will come only after six weeks not two weeks, I was pissed off and angry at the same time, first I thought I will know about the reports in two weeks and after two weeks first they told the result will come in a day and now this is too much I had to wait four more weeks after waiting two weeks before this sigh.Then he explained that they will grow the tissue / smear or whatever it is and then its positive or negative  result will depend on whether it grows or not . that’s the culture test the lab technician told me, so now again the most frustrating waiting game starts again, please pray for me again that all my reports are fine  and I can start IVF soon. I am trying to be patient as much as possible.

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